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Artist Bio

Artist Details

Videos

Infernal Legions Of Mordor-311 Bygone Tales From The Realm Of Sauron (Full Album)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZBUz2guZUo

Tracklist

Introduction: The Disgusting Stench Of Burning Feces That Is Being Prepared To Be Catapulted Into The Castle As The Siege Commences

I Own Guns to Protect Myself from Code Orange Fans

Q Did 3/11

I'm Gonna Fight Lars Ulrich

Dfw Metal Mayhem Is Mad I Made Fun Of D&D, So I'm Gonna Do It Again (D&D Is Dumb)

The Fountain Is A Really, Really, Really Bad Movie

Straight Edge Hardcore Dudes Harm Women And Everyone Ignores It So They Can Keep Playing Mediocre Guitar Riffs

My Favorite Part Of Punk Is The Only Time I Hear From My "Friends" Is When They Want Something From Me

God Forbid, Hardcore Kids Do Anything Aside From Hardcore! What Posers!

Colton From Reanimated Miscarriage Is Going To Come To Texas And Fight Me

How Can I Be A Narcissist When I Look Like This

I Asked If My T-bell Diarrhea Sounded Like Carcass Or Impetigo Vocals, When It Was Closer To Demilich Vocals

Balding And Fucked

My Life Hasn't Been The Same Since I Got A Gandalf Hat

I'm Gonna Fight Gene Simmons

This Years Tornado Season Will Be The Midwest's Punishment For Egg Punk

Sacrifice Lumpy If You Want To Avert This

Take The Time By Dream Theater

My Dangly Earring Is A Personality Trait Right?

What Is This Venue's Sword Policy?

Dallas Metal Dudes And Their Collective Poop Fetish (The Ballad Of Eatin' Like A Big Fella)

Face It, You're In An Egg Punk Band

If I Wanted An Angry Italian Man To Yell At Me, I Would Go To A Sub Shop Instead Of The Hank Wood Show

Where Does Target Keep Their Noise Tables?

Punk Time Is Dead And It Is Buried In My Back Yard

Being Gaslit For My Hatred Of Raising Caines

Goatmoon Is Just Racist Wintersun

Opeth Is What Would Happen If You Made A Heavy Metal Harry Potter And Also Bad

Unprecedented Levels Of Dipshittery

Infernal Legions Of Mordor, The Pawn Stars Of Noisecore

I'm Gonna Fight Jimmy From Youtube

Playing Hacked Up For Barbeque By Mortician Is Work Appropriate, Right?

I Payed A Guy At A Ren Faire To Roast My Hobbit And Now My Hobbit Won't Go To The Ren Faire

Support Local Business, Especially When They Allow Me To Bring My Sword In

That Guy From Blood Incantation Looks Like A Scifi Writer Driven Insane By The World He's Created

How Many Times Will Bone Sickness Follow And Unfollow Me On Instagram

My Combat Alchemist In The Parking Lot Of An Egg Punk Fest Expelling A Bad Potion

Dallas Grindcore People Telling Us We Need To Play A Longer Set

That Feel When James LeBrie Say "Carpe Diem, Seize The Day"

Razorbumps Is A Rockabilly Band, Prove Me Wrong

Hey, The Firefly Jayne Replica Hat Stays On During Sex Okay???

Ending Friendships Over Catan Trade Embargoes

I'm Into Cynic And Atheist So You Could Say I'm A Bit Of A Jazz Fan

Rick And Morty Shirts Are The New Fedora

Hot Boxing Your Straightedge Friend With CBD

Only Two Whole Years Until The Next Season Of Venture Bros (This Did Not Age Well)

Writing Off A Six Month Sword-Making Apprenticeship As A "Business Expense" On My Taxes

Listen, Not Every Dumb Ass Statement You Make Has To Be A Song Title, And That's The Song Title

Straightedge Noisecore War Commando

Kommand Was Better When They Were Called Hoax

I Now Play This Card To Retain My Virginity

Mountain Dew Where Is My Sponsorship

Shitposting Songtitles From This LP On Facebook When I'm On The Clock At Work

Without Hesitation I Will Punish You About How And Why You Should Be Watching Venture Bros

"Walk This Way" Is The Worst Fucking Song

A.M.A.S. (All Men Are Simps)

My Friend Ryan's Mullet

Hell Yeah Bruther

Who's The Bigger Nerds, Us Or Vault Dweller?

Going To Ye Olde Pub Instead Of Watching The Bad Local Metalcore Band

Bald Larry Got License Plates That Say "Senpai"

Dystopia Is Skramz For Crusties

I'm Gonna Whup Varg's Tabletop Rpg Playing Ass

Sitting On The Porch Of House Of Tinnitus, Sippin' On Texas Cold Brew With Texas Mike

8/19/19; The Day Texas Mike Came Home

Cool Beans Let Me Play Cannibal Corpse Over Their P.A.

You Play In A Psych Rock Band (No One Cares About The Stupid Visuals You Have To Accompany Your Boring Music)

Dune Is Better Than Star Wars

The Butt Rock Song

A 12 Gauge Shotgun Full Of Our Lord's Forgiveness

Derik Can Only Harm You If You Know Of Him

Mountain Dew Doesn't Make Your Dick Shrink, I Was Born With A Micropenis

Taking A Mighty Push

Maggot Stomp Got That Pit Viper Sponsorship And That's Too Cool To Rip On

Writing Song Titles At 4:20 Am On Your Day Off Because You're On Some King Shit

Hey 1919 Can I Have My Money Back?

Oh Yes, Piss Off The Warlock

If I Crank The Sharpness And Contrast On My Mediocre Live Concert Photography Everyone Will Love It

Paying Any Amount Of Money For One Of Those Straight Edge Watches Is Fucking Stupid

Getting Asked To Play More "Customer Friendly Music", So I Put Mortiis On

Yes I Am An Admin On Metal Archives, And Yes I Talk To Women

We Shitpost Better Than Cruelster

Someone Once Called Me You Lord Of The Rings Lookin' Ass

Noisecore Is A Better Genre For Straightedge Liberation Than Youth Crew

Who Is This Mans Selling Pornogrind And Polish Extreme Metal Bootleg Tapes To Recycled And Not Me?

Pubic Floss Is My Favorite Ska Band

No Wait, Natural Man Is

I Went To A Noise Show On 9/11 And All I Got Was A Dollar

No You Don't Need A Gun

Tomb Mold Is My New Favorite Hypebeast Streetwear Brand

I'm Really Happy Seth Putnam Is Dead

Its Still Hilarious Josh From Anal Cunt Died Falling Off An Escalator

Tim Morse Got The Shit Kicked Out Of Him

Punks Who Cosplay As Darby Crash In 2020 Are Fucking Stupid

If I Gather All Of Dragon Ball Z On Vhs, Shenron Will Appear To Call Me A Nerd

Derailed Train Full Of Decapitated Oogles

Dumpster Diving For Forbidden Knowledge

I Miss Oil Spill

The Mullet That's Supposed To Save The World

Rest In The Arms Of A Dragon

Death Metal Was A Scam To Sell Longsleeve Shirts

Gun Dudes That Can't Cum Unless Their Wife Named Cindy Is Holding A Glock 7 Gen 3 To Their Bald Spot

Imagine Risking Exposure To Covid-19 To See A Soundcloud Rap Show

Tanking The Success Of My Noise Rock Band By Coming Out In Favor Of Driver's Licenses

The Mans With The Mortician Tramp Stamp Tattoo

Oh God No, Not Another Song Sampling Peter Jackson's Dead Alive

Your Pop Punk Has Breakdowns And Your Browser Is On A Watchlist

None Of Your Gorram Business That I'm Writing A Rutting Noisecore Song About Firefly

Firefly Lasted Longer Than I Do In Bed

Don't Open The Docking Port, You'll Let The Oboe In!!!!!

River Tam Will Kill You With Her Mind

Vhs Collectors Are Chill Ass Bros

The World Would Be A Better Place If Cookout Was A National Chain

You Smell Like You Play In A Grindcore Band

The Ballad Of The Egg Punk Demo Cassette

Simps Pretend To Like Death Metal To Lay Pipe

Your Band Has No Riffs

You Play In A D-Beat Band

Bodybag Darryl

I Was Paid To Take Photos Of An E-Girl, Take That 4chan

Average Time It Takes For People To Stop Caring About An Osdm Worship Band That Came Out On 20 Buck Spin

I, A 45 Year Old Man, Paid $100 To See David Yow Pull Out His Penis, Not To Talk Bad About My President

Amazing How White Drugs Was The Only Good Amrep Band

Remembering When The Drummer Of Skeleton Asked Me If He Should Listen To Obituary

We Bullied Taco Bell Into Bringing Back Potatoes On 311

Ah Yes, Jazz Fusion Covers Of Pokemon Route Themes

Harsh Noise Wall Track Using My Scrapped Brake Shoes

I Don't "Get" Noise Says The Person Who Likes 100 Gecs

Playing Brainbombs At The Function To Weed Out The Weak Friends

Everyone Is "We Love And Support You" Until You Threaten To Castrate Yourself With A Sword Your Friend Found In An Alleyway Next To A Car With A Broken In Windshield

This Song Is Just An Excuse To Sample Firefly

Nice Gatecreeper Shirt You Stupid Fucking Poser

"I Miss Going To Shows" Says The Sad Nerd Who Sat Outside During Every Band Smoking American Spirits

If Your Band Sounds Like American Football, I'm Kicking Your Fucking Ass

I Want To Fight People That Wear Suits In Public

Listening To Shadow Gallery To Experience What Dream Theater Would Be Like If They Had A Bass Player

Slint Is Just Korn But For Nerds

Okay, But What If I Said I've Never Actually Read Lord Of The Rings

Effortless Urination Of Bright Yellow Pee-Pee

We're Destroying The Baby Right?

The Darkest Magik

Yautja Is The Funniest Band In Metal, And The Most Handsome

Paying A Sex Worker To Just Cuddle Me, I'm Lonely

My Fetish Is Watching 30-40 Year Old Guys Imitate Steve Albini On Stage In At A Bar In Dallas, I Cum All The Time

Assigned Cowboy At Birth

All Hail Our Dork Lord And Master!

Beware Of Geeks Bearing Gifts

Ancient...Evil...And Hungry

Wizard Metal By The Numbers

A Harmless Giant From A Foreign Land

Survival Of The Thiccest

Sizzler Buffet For The Sexually Deranged

Yer Gonna Feel My Boot

Meat Mountain, Clogging Toilets And Arteries Everywhere

The Eye Of The Shitstorm

HOT GIRLS WITH SWORDS DOT COM

Muffled Sounds Of Gorilla Violence

Looking At Your Dungeon Tan I Can Tell That You're A Fan Of Mortiis

Yeah, I'd Get The Elf Ear Surgery

Keep The Adidas High Tops Free Of Blood Lest Ye Summon The Eldritch God Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

When The Reply Guys Swarm In

I Saw Rusty From Mental Abortion's Dick In Cabin Fever 2

You Play In An HM2-Core Band

Onlyfans But It's Just Chalrles Knowles Whuppin' My Ass

Thundersnow

Rise And False Grind

A Great Wizard, Ripping A Fat Bowl To Steely Dan

Skinhead But Not By Choice

Hanging Out At The Ren Faire With My Fellow Ugly LARPers

Noisecore For The Instagram Clout

Dark Highwayman, Encountered At Dusk Upon His Steed Named Sempai

Remembering When Sawblade Threatened To Strangle Me When I Was 19

Getting Fired From My Job As A DJ At A Bar For Playing The Traci Lords Loves Noise Reissue On Breathing Problem

I Got Cum All Over My Lone Wolf Audio Maggot Stomp Collab Distortion Pedal T-Shirt So I Ordered Another One

Using The Blood On The Eerified Catacomb Cassette To Make A Clone Of U.E. And Have My Own Pet Hypebeast Nekro Black Metal Machin

Making Fun Of Other Bands To Hide My Rage That No One Likes My Band

Smashing Your Head Into A Master Sword Replica After Laughing At How Stupid A New Infernal Legions Of Mordor Song Is

Having Gorenoise Tapes From Breathing Problem Productions Delivered To My Job

Are You Really Vibing Or Are You Just Giving Off Deadly Levels Of Ionizing Radiation?

We All Have Mustaches Now

Mute The Sword

We're Tall, You Aren't

Oh, Great, Another Band With Parker Lawson Doing Vocals

Temporary Secretary By Paul McCartney Started Egg Punk

We Need More Death Metal Distortion Pedals

Matt, "Peavey", Perrin Has A Gun

I Have A VHS Collection Instead Of A Personality

Kinkshaming Someone For Listening To Brainbombs

A Horsedrawn Carriage Full Of Ass

Buzzword Death Metal

Who Do I Have To Make Fun Of At The Dallas Observer To Finally Get Them To Notice Us?

What Isn't Beneath Tom G. Warrior's Beanie

Going To Tennessee To Finally Beat The Shit Out Of Thrashhard08

Infertile Hails

Avantasia Wrote A Power Ballad About Incest

Pickles Strutting His Noisecore Clout With A Trans Am

How Quickly Will Any Of The Guest Performers On This Regret Being On This Tape?

Giant Ass Sword

The Only Way To Escape The Grip Of Longmont Potion Castle Is Death

This Skullet Is A Poor Attempt To Cover This Red Neck

Qui-Gon Epstein

Deadbeat Disrocker Dad

War Metal Gauntlet With A Rail Of Blow

Who Is This Strange Man Who Entered My Keep With A Garment That Reads “RATLORD”

Anal Cunt Song Titles That Unfortunately Live Rent Free In My Head

Bald Larry Correcting Me About The Avantasia Incest Song

Highest Regarded Opinions Of The Tech Death Guitar Player

Black Metal Finsta

Dr. Alican Koc

Thank Fuck The Nerve In This Tooth Finally Died

Consuming My Slain Enemy's Heart For His Courage, His Brain For His Intelligence, And Eating His Ass

Getting Brain Juices All Over My Livestream Blood Incantation Shirt While Getting A COVID Test

You Play In A Perverse Homage Raw Black Metal Band

There Is A Box In The Back Of My Bedroom Closet With Dollar Signs Drawn All Over It With Nothing But Mark Winter Demos In It

A Trashbag Full Of Blow To Be Delivered To The War Metal Band

We're All Poseurs (Especially You)

Allegiance Formed With Mountain Of Smoke In The Realms Of Meatcraft

Dick Armor

Fully Erect Alchemist

Your Aluminum Guitar Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore

My Ass Is A Furnace

O Thank Thee, Guardian Of Metal

You Listen To Discharge

A Goblin Swinging A Sack Full Of Quarters

Great Another Smelly Asshole Who Thinks Video Violence Is A Good Movie Telling Me That Hereditary Sucks

Charles Entertainment Knowles, Top Fan

You Play Math Rock (And You Suck At It Too)

You Told Me 'Look Man, I Put Out Records And Tour' But You Still Can't Write A Riff

Getting Targeted Ads For The Thicc AT&T Girl

Razor Girl From Brutal Legend Based Sexual Fantasy

If You’re Looking For Riffs In Contemporary Music And You Listen To Punk, I Have Bad News For You

You Listen To Death Metal (And You Smell Like It Too)

I Got A Friend Request From The Guitarist Of Devourment

You Listen To Opeth

Hanging Out In The Alley Behind J&J's With A Bunch Of Stupid Fucking Metalheads Listening To Celtic Frost

Crust Fund Kids Saying They "Don’t Even Like Money!" All The Way To Their Parent's Bank

Having To Wear A Diaper When You Listen To Disembowelment Because You Keep Shitting Yourself

Telling Pantera Fans The South Won't Rise Again

My Wizard Hat, Taking To The Wind, Revealing My Bald Spot To The World

I Have My Very Own Lime Scooter And A Sword, Fear My Whimsy

Hitting The Character Limit On Bandcamp Song Titles

Derik The Hobbit

Imagine, If You Will, Rick Wakeman Wearing A Cape

It Smells Like Loneliness In Here

Explaining Anal Cunt To My Boss

If You Enjoyed Watching The Movie Martyrs, You Are A Bad Person

In Other News I Made A Noise Musician Mad On Twitter

This Isn't An Elf Cosplay, I Just Look Like This

The Only Time Anyone Cares About When You Pick Up An Instrument Is When You're Playing Cover Songs

The Reviews Are In

I Am A Late Game Boss That Is Hinted At For Two Thirds Of The Game That Has A Rare One Of One Loot Drop

Matt "Peavey" Perrin Demands To Be Sponsored

I Can't Believe Sleep Made A Career Off Of Ripping Off Sweet Leaf

Fremen For Vengeance

How Many Of Those Facebook Likes Did Your Band Have To Buy?

Being A Gatekeeper Fucking Rules

Starving For A Thirst Trap

Oh Good, The Blood Funnel

At Night, My Eldritch Supercomputer Crawls Under The Covers For Warmth

Selling My Punk Demos Before The Hype Dies Down And Getting Premium Prices On Discogs

You Listen To Iced Earth

Sometimes I Just Re-Read This List Of Song Titles, Not For Fun, But Because I Have Very Little Going On In My Life

Fancy Delights Ov The Void

Someone Stop Oyabun666 From Listing Every Punk Bandcamp Release on Discogs, No One Cares

Frozen Soul Weightlifting In Eternal Champion Merch

The Eldritch And Horrifying Mating Calls Of The Denizens Of 'Dega

The Lasting Legacy Of The Aughts Punk Band That Put Out a Demo, An EP And Only Played Fests

For Some Fucking Reason, I HAVE To Be THE Most Metal Person At this Estate Sale

Watching The Incel Uprising Tank The Stock Market

Another Song Where We Use Our Favorite Word, Eldritch, In The Title

You Play A PRS

Pounding Beers With The Goblin

Christopher Lee If You Are Out There And Can Hear Me: Please Haunt Me

Keep Your Mage Hand Strong

No One Asked Steven Wilson For Those Remixes

Hypnotized By ANTIFA Temptresses

Deep Within The Eternal Chambers Of The Pizza Dungeon

Unfriending Me On Facebook Won't Make Folk Punk Good

I'm Gonna Fight Froggy Fresh

Another Song To Flex Our Obscure Horror Knowledge By Sampling Bloodsuckers From Outer Space

Punk Goes...Country

It's Always Sunn O))) In Philadelphia

Fear Is The Painkiller

We're Available On I Heart Radio

You Listen To Comfy Synth

Asking The Owner Of Recycled Permission To (Continue To) Haunt Recycled When I Die

Sick Caveman Riffs

I Would Die 1000 Deaths For Texas Michael, Esq

Don't You Hate It When Assholes Break The Magickal Blood Seal

I Spit On Your Graveland

I Am Not Pausing Neil Young To Listen To This

Givin' Them Ghosts A Show

You Play In A Youth Crew Band

True Black Metal

Your Grandma Doesn't Need To Die Because You Couldn't Wait To See Ruptured Goat Anus Gurgle About Sexual Assault

Are You Aware Of The Power Of Shadows?

Keep Your Blade Held Aloft

I Screamed These Vocals Into A Sword

Livin' La Vida Don Vito

Cockblocked By A Self Proclaimed Shaman

You're Bleeding And I'm Tired

You Listen To 80's Yes

We Are Three Hundred And Three Songs In, Take A Break, You've Earned It Weary Traveler, You Are Almost There.

(Where Did) N.T.S.B. Fuckin' Go

Automatically Spawned With Blade In Hand

Townie Punks Fuck Off

Oh Man, Your True Crime And Bondage Themed Power Electronics Bands Must Get You All The Girls Huh Champ?

Anything Is A Musical Instrument If You Tape A Contact Mic To It, Duh

Not To Get Political Or Anything But Absurd Fucking Sucks

Wow, I Really Can't Believe You Have Listened To This Whole Fucking Thing. Whatever Sinks Your Ship

Amber Is The Colour Of My Anime / The Closing Ceremonies

Labels

Left Hand Path Tapes (2)